Wake by Lisa McMann

Wake (Dream Catcher, #1)

WARNING: Some people might say they have a book blog and review books to encourage readers, not discourage. Which is why they don’t really hate on books the way I have in the past. But reading my blog, it’s guaranteed that if I read a book I really hate, there is NO WAY I will not write about it. I started a blog because every time I read a book, I really need to tell someone about it. Or even just write to get it out of my system regardless of readers or not (but with readers it is better). And if you really hate it when people hate on a book…then you don’t need to read this review. I’m just warning you. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or anything…So you’ve been warned. I begin now:

Ah, Wake…how shall we begin? Hmmm? Synopsis!

So there’s this chick named Janie, and she’s been getting sucked into peoples dreams forever. When someone falls asleep BAM, she experiences the dream with said person. She hates this dream-catching “curse,” as she calls it, of hers. Then one day, she gets sucked into some random dream, and this old woman talks to her. She realizes she isn’t the only one with this power. Which comforts her, since she can’t tell anyone else about it…blah blah blah. You get the basic idea.

It’s a decent idea…original, creative. It has so much potential! Too bad that was put to waste 😦

So let’s make a list of why I hated this book!

1. The.

Choppy sentences.

Were so dang.

Annoying.

I think that.

Possibly the.

Author was trying.

To be.

Artistic.

But someone should.

Tell her that.

It didn’t.

Work.

2. There was absolutely NO description. If this was made into a movie, fans would be screaming at each other about how things were supposed to look, because NO ONE knows what the author wanted us to imagine.

3. It was confusing and jumpy. I’d always get confused about how it went from this topic to another, and I’d think I must’ve skipped a page…but no. Everything was just assumed, there was no description of how it went from point A to point B.

4. The dreams she got sucked into were just plain disgusting!  The amount of hormones that radiates off this book is so gross.

5. Sex. Waaay too much sex. I did NOT need to imagine that. I did not need to know about that. Just…no. Just no.

6. The romance SUCKED. I’m serious! It wasn’t believable, it wasn’t a romance I would want. It was confusing.

So there’s this greasy-haired emo loner kid who’s late to school everyday. Now, when I’m reading a book, and the author writes that the  character has greasy hair, I imagine a very VERY bad case of grease, that’s disgusting and is never washed. It’s an over-exaggeration, I know that. But I can’t help it. So a big-eyed guy looks like this:

Not nearly as creepy, but you get the point. I imagine HUGE eyes. Now what does this have to do with anything? Well, imagine a mix of those eyes with DISGUSTING hair. That’s how I imagined Cabel, the boy love interest. That sounds like a VERY sucky love interest to me. Then, apparently, a year later or so the same guy shows up but GET THIS:

HE GOT A HAIRCUT AND HE GOT GLASSES.

WHOA, that is SUCH a huge deal. ISN’T IT? I just don’t get it. There’s this gross kid, then he gets some glasses and cuts his hair and BAM: all of a sudden he’s some Prince Charming. This love does not sound appealing to me. Not at all.

And when the romance is terrible, the book is terrible. Oh and they’d be in fights ALL the time and never explained why. The story went something like this:

Janie: I’m not going to answer the phone. I’m not gonna sneak into his house at night. I’m gonna ignore him at school. That’ll teach him.

Reader: What? Why? Did something happen?

Janie: I wonder if he’s still mad at me…

Reader: When was he-? Why was he-

Janie: I’m so depressed. Maybe I should apologize.

Reader: Apologize for WHAT?

*phone rings*

Janie: “Hello.”

Cabel: “Hey babes, I’m sorry I’ve been such a jerk. I just need some time.”

Janie: *slams phone* 

Reader: Whoa whoa whoa SLOW DOWN HERE. WHAT JUST HAPPENED? Someone! ANYONE! Why does he need time! *Looks at pages to make sure they didn’t skip a page by accident. Didn’t skip a page*

Janie: *crying* MY LIFE IS TERRIBLE. EVERYONE HATES ME.

Reader: WHY, WHY DO PEOPLE HATE YOU? WHAT’S GOING ON?

Cabel: *rushes over to her house* “I’m sorry baby.”

Janie: “You didn’t need to ignore me like you did!”

Reader: WHY DID HE IGNORE YOU?

Cabel: “I know hon, I’m sorry!”

(Oh, did I mention that he says honey and darling and sweety so much it’s annoying? Maybe that’s just me though)

Janie: *sniffle sniffle* “Ok..we good?”

Cabel: *smile* “We good.”

*Kissing, and more kissing, and more kissing*

Reader: WHAT?? alghsJJSasghwhataTAWHAT WHY were they fighting? WHAT IS GOING ON?

That’s how the ENTIRE romance portion of this book went. It was terrible! TERRIBLE. I was in agony.

Is this enough? Or should I list things I actually liked about this book? Let’s list!

1. Um…WAIT, I got this…there has to be something…hmm…urmm…well…urm…UH… OK I GIVE UP.

Point is I hated this book.

Now to my rating. First of all, I’m going to give it an AGE rating, because it was sooo gross, and immoral and things.

So my age rating:

HIGH SCHOOL AND UP.

My rating out of five faces..

*DRUMROLL*

A HALF FACE!

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