Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters Movie Review

Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters book written by Rick Riordan

Book synopsis:

The heroic son of Poseidon makes an action-packed comeback in the second must-read installment of Rick Riordan’s amazing young readers series. Starring Percy Jackson, a “half blood” whose mother is human and whose father is the God of the Sea, Riordan’s series combines cliffhanger adventure and Greek mythology lessons that results in true page-turners that get better with each installment. In this episode, The Sea of Monsters, Percy sets out to retrieve the Golden Fleece before his summer camp is destroyed, surpassing the first book’s drama and setting the stage for more thrills to come

That’s a pretty lame synopsis but you get it oh well.

So my reviews on…

MOVIE ADAPTATION OF…

PLOT

TERRIBLE. YOU COULD NOT MESS IT UP MORE. IT WAS IF SOMEONE SAID “Hey there’s this kid Percy Jackson he’s the Son of Poseidon he has two friends and they have mythological adventures write a story and make the movie of it don’t even look at the book.”

I’m going to make a list of everything I can think of that they screwed up.

PERCY WAS SEVENTEEN.

S E V E N T E E N.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS.

THE PROPHECY IS RUINED.

There’s a prophecy and it says the first child of Zeus, Poseidon, or Hades to reach 16 will either save Olympus or destroy it.

THEY’VE ALREADY PASSED 16.

They made the prophecy the first child to reach 20.

twenty

twenty

twenty

DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS

It means, no one who watches the movies will grow up with them. IT MEANS, Annabeth and Percy won’t have had a crush on each other since age 12.  It means, they won’t have this unbreakable bond from growing up together and going through so many things together. It means, I won’t feel connected to Percy, you won’t feel connected to Percy. no one will.

 

 

When they said that in the theater my friend and I yelled “WHAT?? TWENTY? ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME???”

And everyone looked at us. I almost threw my shoe at the screen but I remembered I was in the top row so that wouldn’t work.

Moving on…the characters they well, they sucked. SUCKED.

Yes Logan Lerman is hot and he’s adorable but the way they portrayed Percy was terrible. Percy is SMART. Percy is reliable, Percy is the hero. Not in the movie. In the movie Percy was timid and insecure. There were scenes when he was fighting on a boat. May I remind you he is the SON OF POSEIDON. He waited till he almost died then he used the water. And everyone was like “Oh no!” or “What a good idea Percy!”

IT’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE A RARE OCCURRENCE OK PERCY YOU ARE A FULL-TIME DEMIGOD SO USE YOUR DEMIGOD SKILLS OK.

It killed me! I was yelling half the movie “USE THE WATER IDIOT” “YOU NOOB USE THE DAMN WATER”

He was stupid and he didn’t know how to use his own skills. It was terrible! In the book he’s this amazing smart talented Son of Poseidon! Like one part of the movie there was a boat far away in the sea they wanted to get on. Percy: “How are we gonna get to that?”

Percy it’s time to stop being an idiot and use that thing called a brain. MAYBE USE YOUR WATER POWER STUFF AND LIKE IDK GLIDE MAJESTICALLY ACROSS THE DEEP BLUE SEA INSTEAD OF BEING SUCH AN IDIOT.

And Annabeth…she was ok. I mean she was so pretty. But she was way taller than Percy and looked way older and idk since they’re supposed to be a couple not ok. I mean they aren’t a couple yet but they’re supposed to have crushes on each other. Never once was that hinted. There wasn’t even like an intense bond of affection and Annabeth actually helps the situation like once the whole movie. You’re the daughter of the Goddess of Wisdom come on you could’ve helped everything but nope.

Grover? He was supposed to be looking for Pan, the Nature God. Then he’s supposed to be kidnapped then to survive he’s supposed to pretend to be some giant cyclopes’ fiance. It sounds weird but hey it works in the book. So nope. Not one mention of Pan. In fact, in the books Grover sort of grows apart from Percy and Annabeth because he searches for Pan and isn’t even a huge character anymore. It ends up being just Percabeth. WHICH IS COOL WITH ME SINCE I SHIP THEM. Pan is supposed to be a big character.

Clarisse?

image

Don’t wanna go there but I have to go there because it was terrible.

SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE BIG AND UGLY

Nope and nope

SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE MEAN LIKE REALLY MEAN

Nope

EVERYONE’S SUPPOSED TO HATE HER

Nope.

They’re friends at the end, she’s pretty, she shows some niceness. BUT NOPE NOT EVEN.

YOU KNOW PERCY IS SUPPOSED TO LIKE HATE HER DAD THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE FOUGHT IN THE FIRST BOOK. DID I MENTION THAT PERCY WON A FIGHT WITH THE WAR GOD IN THE FIRST BOOK, IF HE CAN DO THAT HE CAN USE THE WATER TO REACH A DAMN BOAT.

*calming breaths*

So they screwed her up so badly nope

Mr. D

Yeah sure he kept getting Percy’s name wrong which he’s supposed to do but he’s also supposed to hate Percy and like kids in general. In this movie he was nice. NOPE

Luke. He’s actually portrayed well but he dies at the end of this movie.

he dies at the end of this movie.

LUKE IS A BIG CHARACTER

LUKE IS SUPPOSED TO LIVE. HE IS SUPPOSED TO. LIVE. HE CANNOT DIE. HE CAN’T.

Kronos also rose for a bit in this movie.

WHATTTTTTT KRONOS DOESN’T COME TILL LIKE THE FOURTH BOOK AND IT BUILDS UP TO THAT I JUST CAN’T I CANNOT.

I’m so mad. IT HURTS.

I could go on forever but I think you get it…

Basically it was the worst adaptation of a book to a movie I have ever seen. WAIT NO, actually, it’s second only to it’s predecessor (can I even use that word in this context?) Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief. It ruined so much. It added random scenes and took away scenes…it was terrible. TERRIBLE. I suppose I would’ve liked it if I hadn’t read the book but NEVERRRR. The book? AMAZING. The movie? NOPE.

So two gifs to sum up this movie:

image

image

 

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